Creativity Unhindered

Great joy! Since my last post I've taken the lid off the well and a positive overflow of creativity has erupted from deep within! The feeling is amazing and it's the way I want to live always (does the waggle dance around the room).

Someone said to me recently that, when you are blocked creatively the best way to get through it is to make something for someone other than yourself. So here is an image of a 'Spirit Horse' I drew for my friend Janet, a wonderful woman who takes groups of women on Moon Journeys to the Arctic and the Outer Hebrides (more on that in a future post) and loves horses and drums.

Spirit Horse (c) Amber Caspian, 2011

We ride our spirit horse when we journey on the heartbeat of a drum deep into our subconscious, galloping on the rhythm like pounding hooves upon the sweet loamy soil of our souls.

Creativity Unblocked

The main reason for starting a blog was to find a way to pull together all the elements that make up me and get through a creative block.  I have long had a difficult relationship with my creative self.  For some reason I have trouble even getting into the canoe let alone riding it along upon the river of creative flow.  With writing it is different; I have never experienced a serious ‘wounding’ by anyone, not at school or from any other source.  I’ve always felt free to simply write whatever comes into my head, and this has been enhanced by my job in a publishing house writing copy and checking artwork, and during both my Art degree and counselling diploma.  It feels peaceful and relaxing, soul expanding and exciting, I love it!

However with painting it all feels so different.  I am tense and nervous, find it hard to settle and not judge myself.  So why do it?  Again because I love it!  I love the fact that I can do it; put what is in my mind down onto canvas and paper.  Love the fact that occasionally I will do something I’m really happy with.  I do enjoy it but at the moment I feel as though I am the hunter stalking my prey.  Creativity is hiding in the hedgerow, running off at a pace, skulking in corners trying not to be noticed.  We observe one another from the corner of our eye, trying not to engage but all the while yearning for that moment when we can meet and spend time in each other’s company.

I mentioned ‘woundings’ and yes this has happened to me.  Perhaps due to being a sensitive child I took them badly and now they have formed scar tissue, so the creative muscles won’t stretch and flex as they normally would.  I think I have forgotten them and then I hear that teacher’s voice or get a flash of memory from some other incident and am crushed again.  I look with envy at other artists who seem so prolific and long to have that ease and flow, but I have had that experience too!   Usually when I haven’t been working I find I pick up paper and paint without thinking, turn to material and thread in a heartbeat, doodle and design without anxiety.  Perhaps there is a clue in that...

So to honour the fact that I have begun this blog to bring together all my creative sides, here is an image of one of my paintings to get things going.

'Spinning the Dream' (c) Amber Caspian

This painting has had several titles over the years but I have recently settled on ‘Spinning the Dream’.  An oil painting based on a dream I had of being in a dark place suddenly illuminated by a spider hanging on a thread in front of me.  The spider transformed into a silver perfume bottle and emanated an unusual perfume, which I could actually smell in the dream.  As I painted it I felt in touch with an empowered magical part of myself, hence I am wearing rich robes and my hands are held up in a gesture of 'creating'.  It took about three years to paint because I was training to be a counseller as well as working and didn’t have much spare time, however it progressed with me and I feel reflects the growth and emerging spirit within me.  It also was the first painting I had finished in a long time that I felt brought together many of my influences and inspirations into a cohesive image.  I am still very pleased with it now.

Abbots Bromley Horn Dance

I was brought up in the wonderful market town of Thaxted in Essex, which is home to the Thaxted Morris Men who are the oldest revival morris side in the country.  One of their specialities is my particular favourite, the performance of the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance. To quote from their website (http://thaxtedmorris.org/) 'the long continuity of Thaxted’s dances in the hands of just a very few teachers and leaders of the side has meant that Thaxted performs in a distinctive style evolved from early versions of the dances. This is particularly noticeable in the haunting Thaxted version of the Abbots Bromley Horn Dance based on the Wheelwright Robinson tune performed as the climax to the Saturday evening displays at the annual Thaxted Ring Meeting and the Patronal Festival a few weeks later'.

The Abbots Bromley Horn Dance is an English folk dance that started in Abbots Bromley in Staffordshire.  The earliest records mention it back in 1686 but it thought to be older than that.

Performed either at the great church or down in front of the guildhall, it is very atmospheric and harks back to simpler times. 

At dusk a lone fiddle can be heard and eventually appears in his colourful rags leading the side in a long winding line. 

The first six carry beautiful carved wooden deer heads adorned with stag horns, followed by the hobby horse/oss, a robin hood/archer/hunter character, Maid Marion who is always a man and one other who plays a note on a triangle every few seconds. There is a Fool character in the dance when performed at Barthelmy Fair at Abbots Bromley but I don't recall seeing one at the Thaxted dance.

 

The place is vertually silent, the atmosphere caught up in the magic, the side move gracefully through the woven pattern of steps, leaving the tune to stick in your mind and haunt your dreams...

Flash photography detracts from the atmosphere

Midsummer Walk

I consider myself to be so fortunate on days like these. I get to walk around the beautiful Essex countryside and watch the seasons change the view.

It doesn’t seem that long ago that I was struggling to get far through deep snow drifts, and now I’m walking through long grasses, common bindweed, buttercups and daisies, with gorgeous butterflies and dragonflies wafting up in front of me.

I am fascinated by the shapes of the hemlock (I think!) heads that are both in flower, in seed and dried brown/purple on different heads of the same plant. I wonder if the weird weather has made them turn early as I am sure I usually only see the browned heads in late summer.

Many photos later, I move on following a well trodden path along the side of a field across a tiny footbridge and into a patch of wild meadow.

Lots of purple vetch...
... and giant field mushrooms predominate here.

Passed the little wood and round to cross the lane and into the great patchwork of fields and woods in which I often wander. I’m followed by numerous bees and butterflies, good to see!

It’s so hot that most of the mammals and birds are hiding quietly in the woods, it’s silent and vast and I can feel the warmth coming from the wheat fields. The stems are a little short perhaps but the heads seem fat and full of promise. Shadows and colours, textures and clouds fill my vision, the smell of earth and vegetation rises up, a light breeze touches my skin; this is truly soul’s balm.

Walking always clears my mind, earths all the stresses and worries I’m carrying and invites inspiration in. Sometimes I come away with simply a renewed peace of mind; at others I am virtually running home with ideas flapping about in my head. I find that if I carry pen and paper with me I end up writing a rather dreary diary entry so now I only take my little camera along. It goes with me everywhere!

Over 2 hours later I turn for home...